I like this...today's message from the Universe

Yesterday I watched a small bird, flying very fast, disappear into the canopy of an oak tree. So dense were its leaves that it was impossible to see what happened next, though I can tell you it remained inside.

I wondered how the little bird found its opening through the leaves at such a speed, and then managed to gently align its fragile body on the branch it chose to land upon, all within a fraction of a second. Not to mention the impossible to imagine flying maneuvers required: the banking, the curling, the vertical and horizontal stabilizations, the deceleration and landing.

Memory? Calculation? Not in that tiny brain. Instinct? Maybe, but how does instinct know which way the branches of a tree have grown when no two are the same?

Melissa, that little bird just knew. It had faith, in spite of not being able to see how things would work out, that if (and only if) it stayed the course the details would be taken care of; that an opening would appear and a twig would be found. In fact, had she slowed down enough to carefully and logically inspect the tree first, the prudent thing to do, she would have lost her lift and fallen to the ground.

Kind of like reaching for your dreams. Neither memory, nor calculating, nor instincts are the deciding factors, but faith coupled with action.

Tallyho,
The Universe

missing teeth, Rib America and bein' proud

It seems like summer should help us sloooow down. NOT. We have been inundated with activities and parties and, well, life. It's been great, but oh-so-busy. Some highlights and random thoughts:

• Bug has lost her two bottom teeth. How cute is she? And the little lisp that comes with it is extra cute. She's growing up so quickly. Kindergarten begins on August 4. I took the day off - I have to see my baby get on the bus. My heart contracts a little just thinking about it...

• I'm playing basketball on Sunday nights. It's a full-court, 5-on-5 league and I'm pretty sure I might be one of the oldest in the league. Yikes. It's fun, but wow. Sometimes I think my body is moving when it's really not. There's lots of laughter, that's for sure.

• Summer school has kept me super busy and slightly pre-occupied. Which is good. I can't imagine what I'd be like if I didn't have something work-wise to dominate my thoughts all day.

• I watched "Extreme Water Parks" on the Travel Channel and I now fantasize - daily - about visiting any of the ten on the list. I might just have to make it happen.

• I think that lead singer from Kings of Leon has a super sexy voice. Don't ask me why - I just think it.

• I am so seriously considering going into debt to go see Britney Spears. Serious.

• On Labor Day, there's this thing called Rib America Fest (I think it's a hilarious name) and I'm so excited because not only will I get to see Rev. Peyton and his Big Damn Band, I'll also get to see Billy Squire, Loverboy and Morris Day and the Time. How cool is THAT?

• In my most PROUD moment this summer, I went to Pride with my peeps and had a little too much to drink. The evening ended with our (my peeps and me) landing at a mutual friend's house just east of downtown. He wasn't home, but I helped myself to a shower and some of his clothes (jeans, shirt, even some "panties") and walked out, announcing, "I'm ready for dinner!" I may never live that one down.

What's up with you?

Stonewall - 40 Years Ago

It's hard for me to imagine what it must have been like in 1969...to participate in any kind of protest or riot, particularly one having to do with rights for gay people. I was only one year old.

But 40 years later, I can embrace and appreciate what those people did for me. They stood up and were counted. They didn't back down. They showed up and stayed up and continued to fight when many, many others were too scared.

My coming out years were painful, for sure. If I could help just one young (or old) person through that time, I'd do just about anything, because I know the pain and isolation. I have to believe that with Stonewall, a shift began. Its impact has been felt all over, but its significance is evident now, all over the place.

We see younger and younger kids at peace with who they are. We see families who are not afraid to show themselves. While some still question our validity, more and more people support us, all over the world.

So today - a day late - I tip my hat to those Stonewall rioters. You got the ball rolling in a big and dramatic way. My life is easier today because of you.

Hoosier Daddy? Happy Father's Day

Dear 1267;

Happy Father's Day! If I could buy you a shiny new something, I would. I'd spend all my money and tell you this: you are the best dad in the world.

And I don't even know who you are...

Years ago, you gave a part of yourself (literally and well, I don't really want to think about it) that enabled me to give birth to my best gift ever: Ellie. I hope the day will come when I get to shake your hand, no HUG you to pieces. I might even jump into your arms and knock you over...you know, one of THOSE kinds of hugs (I reserve them only for special occasions). I will make sure that you know you gave me the best gift a person could ever receive.

And you don't even know who I am...

That is self-less. That is love. I know that you were probably doing it for the money, but there had to be a big part of you that really thought things through and realized what you were doing for my family -- for several families (right, Patty, Debbie, JoAnn and several others?). My daughter is such a thinker that I know you must be, too. You knew you were giving us the best gift in the world.

So Happy Father's Day! Drink up! Have several! I wish I could buy them for you. Maybe some day I will. I hope some day there will be a great reunion where all of those curly headed kids can meet you and thank you, too.

much love,

melissa

Deal Breakers and Deal Makers

I've thought a lot about deal breakers lately. You know, those characteristics or stories that - once learned - can just break the deal. Ruin the moment. Stop any hope of further relationship. For instance, Cupcake once told me the story of a time she went on a date with a somewhat normal guy. Upon further investigation, however, he revealed a tattoo with a hate symbol on it. There. Done. Deal completely broken. You'll see your way to the door now.

So here are some of my deal breakers - besides the obvious ones like committing a felony (are there any really acceptable felony convictions?) or being a member of a hate group or doing damage in any way to children and animals:

1. Smoking. I hate to say it, but I'd say the deal's off if you smoke. I can't stand it and I don't want my kid around it. Sorry if I hurt anyone's feelings. Just sayin.'

2. If you have a pair of fake balls hanging from your car/truck hitch, we have no chance for a relationship.

3. If you will not spontaneously hold my hand in public, I think the deal is off. I hid for too long. Never gonna happen again. Not for me, not for my kid.

4. If you use the "N" word, I can safely say that I will never talk to you again.

5. If the Metheny family doesn't approve, we will likely have a tough go at it. They didn't like my last "girlfriend" and even said, "you should just stop dating her now - it's not like we're going to welcome her to any family functions." So there.

6. Personal hygiene is an issue whether I want it to be or not. If you don't bathe regularly and your teeth are falling out because of your negligent care, you are not for me. Sorry.

7. If you ever hurt my kid's feelings, I'll throw you out the door. Not just point, but throw.

8. I'm not really crazy about reptiles. A pet snake might be a deal breaker.

9. I keep a clean and somewhat tidy house. I really do try. But if you start to tell me that I HAVE to do something? Like clean more/better or that I'm not doing it correctly, I will probably show you the door. I'm 41 years old. Some of my ways are good ways.

10. If you roll your eyes at ALL of my jokes, we probably aren't a good fit. I really am funny. Sometimes.

Of course there are also Deal MAKERS:

1. If you are a fan of "Like Normal People" with Shaun Cassidy and Linda Pearl, you might be the one for me.

2. If you can appreciate all that Pee Wee Herman did to make people laugh before his - ahem - poor decision, you might be the one for me.

3. If you can embrace my love of all things Britney, you might be the one for me.

4. If you know the words to any ENTIRE Broadway production, you might just win by default.

5. If you can make me laugh so hard that I almost throw up, you might be the one for me.

6. If you make me feel like I'm the bee's knees, you'll score major points with me.

7. If you will randomly toss aside inhibition and bust out some crazy dance move, I'm all about you. If it makes me laugh, even better.

8. If you treat my daughter like the princess she is, you will absolutely endear yourself to me.

9. If you give me a massage, I might love you forever. I'm easy like that.

10. If you can dig a 41 year old woman who sometimes acts like a teenage boy, we're golden.

How about you? Deal breakers? Deal makers?

There's a big, gooey piece of cheese pizza waiting for me

There aren't lots of perks in my job, but today I will experience one of them. I'm heading to a conference in Chicago and because the price of PARKING in Chicago is completely outrageous, the district is sending me via PLANE to Chi-town. And I'm very excited.

Though the weather will probably be crappy this trip, I love Chicago for its "big city-ness." I love the smells (good and bad), the crush of people, the general busy-ness. I love the trains, I love State Street, I love Chicago pizza. Oh, man, do I ever love Chicago pizza...

It's just two days...but it will be SO nice to have a break!

If a tree falls in the woods...

I go to a "personal transformation" class on Saturday mornings. Ellie either stays with my mom at our house or at my mom's. I'm glad she was at my mom's last Saturday.

After class, I'd picked her up and we were running some errands when my friend Rachel called. "Did your tree fall down?" she said. I said, "well, I have that tree that is leaning, like it's about to fall, but it's not down." She said, "well, it's down now."

So we dropped what we were doing and headed home. This is what we found:

The dang thing just fell over. I was hoping to get the thing cut down this spring, but I guess it had a different timeline than I did.

I'm incredibly lucky because it fell as perfectly as it possibly could have - just feet from the house, inches from the flowers, between the other tree and a lampost. Being the worst-case scenario girl that I am, I had to think of all the horrible things that could have happened: that it could have fallen on a person, on a car, on a house. It could have triggered a domino effect with other trees...I thought of all kinds of morbid things.

Even better is the fact that it is set in stone now that I have the best neighbors in the entire world. They all chipped in to help clean up the mess. Chain saw, wheelbarrows, rakes were flying in the yard for two full days. I owe a lot of people a lot of beer.